Mark de Croix wishes to thank the Admiralty

[Mark de Croix]

To the Admiralty:

I humbly wish to thank the Admiralty for their magnanimously promoting me to be a commissioned officer. Well that is according to the scuttlebutt going around base. I didn't get my papers yet nor my officer's pins. However I am living up to my brashness highlighted in my last evaluation report as "can be brash," sir!

Again, thank you, and I look forward to the great upscale in my pay.

Sincerely,
Mark de Croix
(Distant cousin to Commander Thomas Sullivan Magnum but not to be mistaken for him though people say we have a striking resemblance. I'm the one without the mustache!)

[Mark de Croix]

To the Admiralty:

Sir! I am so happy I joined this U. S. of A. Navy! Incredibly almost overnight I reached promotion to Lieutenant Commander. If I may ask, sir, did my cousin Tom, I mean, Commander Thomas Magnum get promoted as quickly as me? I will remain at attention until your answer, sir! (And I humbly thank the Admiralty for their magnumimity on my behalf.)

[Mark de Croix]

To the Admiralty:

According to the Navy Code I must inform my commanding officer of any extreme directive outside of combat operations that jeopardize's a subordinate's well-being, Sir!
Thank you, it so happens that I have had to remain at attention for an unreasonable length of time awaiting response from my commanding officer. At the Academy we were instructed to inform our CO immediately, though I have patiently delayed, Sir!

But not all, Sir. It has come to my attention that again suddenly I have received upward promotion, this time to Commander, reaching the same rank as my cousin, Tom, er, Commander Thomas Magnum, Sir.

I wonder if this is the work of Admiral Mackerel and Admiral Halibut, who promised me that I would never have to pay for a drink at the Officer's Club for quarterbacking Navy to consecutive victories in the Army-Navy Game in Philadelphia, Sir! You see, Sir, I'm concerned that among Navy personnel rumors will have it I only got the promotions by being a jock.

Finally, Sir, why are there no sailors on this base. I noticed all the members are commissioned officers. Could this MM Base actually be the new Naval War College? I am eager to take command of a warship rather than teaching theories and strategies of naval warfare, if it may please you, Sir!!

[Mark de Croix]

To the Admiralty:

As a member of Naval Intelligence having been recently assigned, I offer my humble gratitude, but also I would like to offer an observation about security, my first of my career. Taking a stroll on base, I happened to see the welcome message for yours truly. Next to my name was the total number of personnel here, 2007. I don't believe it is coincidental that that same number is my code name. Surely I'm pleased that my number should recall the greatest spy who ever lived, and for that reason his number is retired. So while I am greatly honored to be thought of as a modern-day James Bond, Sir, don't you think this system of code naming based on the order of one's first arrival to Base M-M is a bit, uh, unfortunate? Fiends like Blofeld or Specter should have no trouble breaking the codes of such a rather, uh, unfortunately low-level of security. I strongly recommend, no, I insist that agents be assigned code names based on the highest level of security available, Sir!!

[Mark de Croix]

To the Admiralty

Thank you for your continued support in assigning me as an undercover agent for surveillance of the group, 40th Anniversary Watch. I successfully infiltrated the group so much so that no one asked me if I was related to Thomas Magnum or commented I looked like him without a mustache. In other words, they didn't take much notice of me. Their organizer appears to operate under the assumed name of T.Q. and may have Benjamin Buttons disorder because his face appears so young.

My team put all the group's transmissions through the Enigma5000 and found they do not use code. My team then successfully read all. We concluded the group should be reclassified as non-subversive. Of most interest to the Admiralty is that this group does not consist of civilian contractors but actually Navy personnel. We suspect they are all commissioned officers here on Base M-M. We recommend strongly that the Admiralty make a thorough investigation how this harmless group could be placed under suspicion. It's quite troubling to the rank and file and especially me, sir!!

[T.Q.]

Entertaining.

Welcome.

Signed,

Just the schmuck posting the episodes on the Watch Party T.Q.

[Mark de Croix]

To the Admiralty

Over the weekend while on a trip back to the Academy to see my former Adviser, I was informed by Personnel that I was promoted to Captain. I am at a loss of words. I am humbled to the core. I happened to be with my Adviser when I read the news. He checked Naval Records and found no other such case, an ensign going through the ranks to captain in less than a week's time. He assured me my promotion was authentic while appearing flabbergasted. He noted that Admiral Mackerel and Admiral Halibut also happen to work out of Base M-M and known as avid fans of the Academy's football team. He supposed this would not be the first time they took special notice of a former player. That's why I come, though I am beyond, beyond gratitude for my promotion to captain.

As a matter of fact I also received an invitation from Base Command to quarterback Base M-M in the upcoming Navy Tournament. I cannot help but think these two transmissions are related. What's that, Sir? Yes, I agree it is highly unlikely given that all personnel swore to the Navy Oath and committed to the Navy Code. Well, I cannot challenge that, Sir, but must inform you that for me to be QB1 for the Base Football Team, I can do so only under these conditions: extended leave at Christmas and Summer, excused absence at morning drill, and free access with Gold parking privilege to a red Ferrari (my choice of model). And if our team the M-M Magnums become champions, then I get quartered off-base in an Oahu condo from among the Navy's available units. If it so pleases you, Sir!!

[Mark de Croix]

U. S. NAVY INTERNET SERVICES
★ AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY★ ZOOM CAMERA IS ON ◉
UNAUTHORIZED USE PUNISHABLE BY FINE OR IMPRISONMENT
U.S. DEPT. OF DEFENSE

▶︎ATTENTION!! (STAND AND FACE THE CAMERA)
▶︎CAPTAIN MARKSON SULLIVAN DE CROIX III!!!
YES, SIR!!!
▶︎What insolence! You zoom from ensign to captain in one week and you think you own Base M-M?!
NO, SIR!!
▶︎Yes, Sir, indeed! You insolent prick, you want GOLD Parking Privileges??
▶︎Don't you know GOLD is only for Admirals!!
Sorry, Sir, I didn't know. I stand corrected, Sir!!
▶︎Of course not. You're the one-week wonder without a brain. You gridiron goons are all the same. Wussies. Back at the Academy in my day, Lacrosse was king. It's a man's game. We didn't wear tons of padding and had sticks that could rip a man's head off.
▶︎I grant you, throwing those 7 touchdowns against Army even thrilled me and won you fame on Navy bases from Alaska to the Azores, but son, this is MY base and I'm not gonna let any snot-nosed-brat come here in one week and think he owns the place. I'll have you scraping off the barnacles on ships from morn' to night if I see fit for the rest of your life. Ya Got That!
YES, SIR!!
▶︎Let me tell ya, you're here to serve the Navy and the American people not yourself. Got it?
YES, SIR!!
▶︎If we at Base Command tell ya ya gotta crap twice on Sundays, ya crap twice on Sundays, Got it?
YES, SIR!!
▶︎If Base Command says, "We need jya to QB our football team," ya QB our team. Got it?
YES, SIR!!
▶︎Any questions, son?
NO, SIR!!
▶︎Good. Ole Fishbutt, uh I mean, Admiral Halibut tells me he could use you in the Department of Recruitment and Promotions. Here's the low down. Just so happens that a decorated former Commander from Base M-M is now VP of Marketing for Ferrari America, Inc and he and Fishbutt, un Halibut have worked a cooperative between the Navy and Ferrari to recruit for the Navy while at the same time promoting the sale of their cars among young people. Where you come is you are going be the poster child for the campaign. You will be billed as the flashy football star now having a great life in the Navy. You will spend much of your time visiting schools in Oahu promoting enlistment into the U.S. Navy. For this AND your QBing our football team, we are prepared to meet some of your deman- uh uh requests. Ya with me so far?
YES, SIR!!
▶︎You can get your Ferrari because Ferrari America wants to promote you driving one. But you can't get it in red. Base Command deems that and orange are too flashy here on base. So we decided, and the Ferrari company agrees, that maroon would be just as good. Ya ok with it?
YES, SIR!!
▶︎GOLD parking? Ha, ha. You're lucky if we give you BLUE. That ok?
YES, SIR!!
▶︎Extended leave. Maybe. All contingent on you winning games. But Christmas is out of the question. In fact you get no leave then because you'll spend much of it in practice. We'll switch that leave to another time of the year. Fine with that?
YES, SIR!!
▶︎Excused absence at morning drill? Only during football season. You'll be in practice, right?
YES, SIR!!
▶︎Off-campus condo. First, become the leader for QB stats in the tourney for yards, TDs or rating and get a championship, then we'll talk. You'll be temporarily assigned under Fishbutt at the Department of Recruitment. Wait for his contact. That about covers it. Any questions.
NO, SIR!!
▶︎Good. I'm glad we had this little talk, so go and win me a championship.
YES, SIR!!
▶︎You're dismissed, son.
YES, SIR!!
ZOOM CAMERA IS OFF ◉

[Mark de Croix]

Island-T Mobile

● Hey Tom. How ya doin’, CUZ.
✦ heard you got stationed over here. A long time since you came last, when U of H recruited you.
● How are things at Robin’s Nest? Higgins still getting at you?
✦ A lot’s changed and I'll bring up to speed later. So you’ve been here …?
● About a week and already some strange things.
✦ Oh yeah, what?
● You’re not gonna believe it.
✦ Try me.
● I made captain.
✦ Whad'ya mean, captain? You’re an ensign.
● Not anymore. I went through the ranks.
✦ That’s impossible. Most have long careers and never make it that far.
● Well I did and what’s more Base M-M is a bit peculiar, Tom.
✦ How so?
● I don’t see any sailors and half seem to be admirals or something.
✦ Maybe they’re grooming you to be an admiral, ha, ha.
● Nah, I think it’s for something else and it's worrisome. I think it’s because I’m good at football. They want me to QB their football team.
✦Hmm I don’t see the connection.
● The Base Commandant made it clear today. Another guy he calls Fishbutt uh
✦Fishbutt? Ha, ha. Yeah Halibut. He’s also with Mac-n-Fish or Mackerel. I hear they’re admirals.
● You know them?!
✦Yeah over in ‘Nam they were COs for a bunch of us. They’re betting fiends. Y’know sometimes in a long break in fighting, ya need something for the boredom, so those guys would run raffles and stuff for money. They got into trouble for it but what‘re ya gonna do. Say, let’s meet up tonight if you’re free.
● That would be great. At Robin’s Nest? I had a lot of fun there last.
✦I’m glad you enjoyed it. As a matter of fact Robin Masters sold it and I’m soon on my way out. Anyway, we’ll go out on the town tonight. Celebrate your success, Captain. Say, I meet ya outside the main gate around 6? We’ll have dinner and so on.
●Sounds great, see ya then.

[Mark de Croix]

U. S. NAVY INTERNET SERVICES
★ AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY★ ZOOM CAMERA IS ON ◉
UNAUTHORIZED USE PUNISHABLE BY FINE OR IMPRISONMENT
U.S. DEPT. OF DEFENSE

ATTENTION! (STAND AND FACE CAMERA)
►REAR ADMIRAL DE CROIX!
●Yes, sir
►What can we do for you this time?
●I continue to be greatly honored here. However it is also concerning.
►Go on.
●I left the base as captain but i came back as rear admiral. It is too fantastic.
►Maybe Commander Magnum was correct: We’re grooming you to be Admiral.
●You heard our conversation??
►Don’t be so surprised. Did you not read “Terms and Conditions” which you signed on to join Base M-M? Apparently not. You should know we have the right to monitor all personnel 24/7, which we do via the electronic chips we installed in your body as part of your inoculations received. Those chips allow Base Command to see and hear what you do. Except when you disrobe, an action that shuts transmissions off.
●I see. Anyway my promotions seem unwarranted.
►Are you challenging the judgement of Base Command?
●NO, SIR!!
►Then what is it?
●It is just too fantastic as I said.
►We can understand. Sometimes new personnel have a similar reaction especially graduates of the Academy. You see, the Academy gives you a classical education, the Old Navy, but we here practice the New Navy. Young people today grew up with the idea that everyone gets a participation trophy and recoil at the idea of competition. Being realistic, we created a promotion system that reduces competition and allows everyone to feel good about themselves. A great morale booster we believe. There is a catch though—the O-N-E-R (Old Navy Equivalent Rank)—which becomes the basis of your pay. So although you now are Rear Admiral your pay scale based on the ONER is not much more than Ensign. So officially you are a Rear Admiral but paywise, still an Ensign.
●I see, sir.
►In your case, however, it is special. Your promotions however have been speeded up.
●Speeded up, sir?
►Yes, we are banking on the splash that you can make in the upcoming recruitment program you will join. Not only you are the pretty boy star athlete driver of a Ferrari, but you a Vice Admiral, a result the New Navy’s Fast Track Promotion System, a system that is sure to entice new recruits. Promotion is one of the top two enticements for people joing the armed forces and Base Command intends that Base M-M will become the No. 1 top recruiter among all Navy bases in the world. You will be billed as the boy wonder who became Rear Admiral in just two weeks.
●Shazaam.
►I can understand you being speechless, but in time you will get accustomed to the FTPS and your swift rise through the ranks. Will there be anything else, son?
●NO, SIR!
►Good. I’m glad we had this little talk. You are dismissed, son.
●YES, SIR!!
Zoom is off. ◉

[Mark de Croix]

Island-T Mobile

✦ Hello
● Hey Tom, it’s Mark.
✦ What’s up, Cap.
● I’m not a captain anymore.
✦ Ha, ha, easy come, easy go.
● No you don’t understand. I wasn’t demoted. I’m now Rear Admiral.
✦Rear Admiral! Rear Admiral! If I didn’t see your bars the last time, I wouldn’t believe you.
Personnel’s gone haywire.
● That’s not half of it. They monitor me 24/7.
✦ Whadya mean
● They put chips in us so Base Command can monitor us. The only way to defeat it is by talking nude. And that’s what I’m doing now.
✦ Nude? Like without clothes?
● That’s right. They call it the New Navy.
✦ Sounds like the Base from Hell! Y’know over the years I’ve heard strange things about the place but you’re in deep, in deep, man.
● You gotta help me.
✦ Sure. This could be my toughest case ever. Let’s start from the beginning. How’dya get here.
● It started after the Army-Navy game. Coach came over to me said,”you got a special invite. Do you know Admirals Halibut and Mackerel?” “No,” I said. “Well they know you and they have a party for the game MVP.” So I went and they were happy we won because they won a ton in bets with their Army counterparts. They asked me if I would be interested in being stationed in Oahu. “Sure,” I said and they would see to it and that’s the last I heard of them. I was soon inducted here and when I received the “Terms and Conditions” to sign, I didn’t take it seriously. What could be tougher than the Navy Code, so I signed right away. But Base Command says that gives them the right to monitor me.
✦ Hmm, why do they want to monitor you and other personnel so closely? Could they be hiding something? Any connection to their super-promoting of people? You told me you did some undercover work for a group called, uh …
● 40th Anniversary Watch.
And you found nothing in particular, huh? They’re just a harmless group of Navy personnel enjoying their free time? Or a front or potentially one! And could Base Command possibly be grooming you to be the intermediary between them and the front group, this 40th Anniversary. You still part of the group?
● Yeah I go to some of their parties. I think you’re barking up the wrong tree.
✦ You’d be surprised. Once I was called in about the niece of the state governor: valedictorian, girl scout and all that. But lo and behold she was a major trafficker of ice—crystal meth—out of New York while she was in college. Blew my mind, man. Ya just can’t tell by appearances. Who knows what this 40th group is into. Sometimes they revolve around mundane things like sport, music, art, etc. While they talk about the activity the language is really code for operating their illicit activity. To us it’s just about the exciting plays in a football game or the melodies of a song but for them they are directions for their next clandestine caper.
● Nah, not this group.
✦ Maybe you’re right but it’s a starting place. Sometime I’ll have you introduce me to the group. In the meantime continue your participation and I’ll check with my contacts in the Navy.
● Sounds like a plan.

[Mark de Croix]

Island-T Mobile

● Hey, Tom. Howya doin.
✦ OK, CUZ. Have anything to report?
● Nothing. 4Oth Anniversary Watch suddenly went silent. I floated a message hoping to spark something, maybe bring them out in the open but nothing. This past week nothing circulating among them. Do ya think they’re on to us?
✦ Nah. I don’t know how. You in the nude now?
● Sure.
✦ Well we’re keeping things tight though I wouldn’t want people to hear what I just asked you, . Sometime ago I had to shake off the nasty rumor that I was gay. Can you imagine that? I got a chick in almost every port and some idiot spouts that garbage.
● He was probably jealous.
✦ Yeah I had a lot of that back in high school being the mainstay on varsity basketball, football, track & field, baseball, ha, ha, a joke. But that was in high school. Ya gotta expect it but in the adult world?
● Maybe somebody has an axe to grind from your Navy days.
✦ Could be. In the “Old Navy” -- days contrary to what you’ve been telling me about the New Navy-- we had to fight tooth and nail to claw ourselves up the ladder of promotions. I mean, maybe, someone could have gotten jealous I got to be Commander before they did.
● Could be, could be. Anyway were you able to reach your Navy contacts?
✦ Yeah, as a matter of fact. An old Navy buddy of mine, Mac, did a lot of work in technical communications, so he was the first I called. He tells me the Navy is always working on some strange, secret hi-tech. He was unsure about what he says is called “human microchip implants,” but he is sure the Navy has the capability to do so. He can’t believe the Navy would do it to their own people though. Anyway he’s going to check it out with some buds he knows in the field. Say, ya wanna go out for some brew?
● Can't tonight. Ole Fishbutt got me working on a presentation for recruitment at some high schools. Can't fish out on 'im.
✦ Don't work too hard. Later.

[Mark de Croix]

U. S. NAVY INTERNET SERVICES
★ AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY★ CAMERA IS ON ◉
UNAUTHORIZED USE PUNISHABLE BY FINE OR IMPRISONMENT
U.S. DEPT. OF DEFENSE

▶︎ATTENTION!! (STAND AND FACE THE CAMERA)
FOR ADMIRAL HALIBUT
▶︎VICE ADMIRAL MARKSON SULLIVAN DE CROIX III!!!
● Yes, SIR!!!
▶︎ At ease, son. That has nice a ring to it, Vice Admiral. Yes indeed. It took some doing, but cooperation is the thing.
● Yes, SIR!
▶︎ Good to see you again. I trust all is going well for you here at Base M-M, which we plan to put on the map. Now, about the recruitment presentation you sent over. Quite excellent. There is however a small matter.
● What’s that, sir?
▶︎ The storyboard. I went over it with both the Base Commandant and a rep from Ferrari America. Your idea of you driving the Ferrari by a Oahu high school of some admiring onlookers captioned “𝙸-Navy” is ingenious. A familiar ring from where uh … I can’t place it, but It fits well with today’s youth.
● Thank you, Sir.
▶︎ However some modifications are needed. The Commandant wants the scene to open up with Base-M-M as the backdrop. I suggest it be you driving out of base presumably on leave. Also the Commandant doesn’t like the idea of you throwing your hat away into the wind. The Ferrari rep suggests there be a model sitting next to you, and as the base fades away, she takes your hat to wear it herself, as the both of you head off for a picnic at a scenic place on the island.
● Yes, sir, that’s good.
▶︎ I’m glad you like it. The Ferrari rep assumed you would and will be sending you info for several models—women, that is, for you to choose one. He also wants you to be wearing your white ceremonial uniform in full regalia. His ad department will flesh out the framework of your storyboard as well as test it for marketing purposes. Editing then fashions it into an ad commercial broadcast on the major TV channels and other media. That’s the basic plan.
● Great, sir.
▶︎ Now that we agree, I need you to sign here, here, and here on this contract between you and Ferrari America.
● Alright when do you need it, sir?
▶︎ Actually now. Don’t worry you don’t need to read it. You can trust me. Basically you agree to allow Ferrari America to use your image for marketing purposes for two years from today for which you receive twenty thousand dollars. However, you are probably aware of base regulations that require personnel of your ONER rank, ensign, to forfeit said renumeration in favor of their presently assigned Department, that of course being Recruitment and Promotions headed by me. I have big plans for you son. This is just the start. So place your John Hancock at the places indicated and send it over to me.
● Yes, sir.
▶︎ Hmm, hmm, fine son. Uh, I noticed the other day outside the main gate
what I thought was you in a Ferrari with a mustache. Ha, ha, it must
have been your cousin, Commander Magnum. I can see that now. How is he?
● Just fine, sir, thank you for asking.
▶︎ You know, son, Commander Magnum was one of our finest, greatly
decorated officers but it was a pity how it all ended for him.
● How was that, sir?
▶︎ Ah, you don’t know. Well, uh, best he tell you. Just remember though
there are two sides to every story. And your Navy only thinks what is best
for each of you. That will be all, son.
● Yes, SIR!!
Camera is off. ◉

[Mark de Croix]

U. S. NAVY INTERNET SERVICES
★ AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY★ CAMERA IS ON ◉
UNAUTHORIZED USE PUNISHABLE BY FINE OR IMPRISONMENT
U.S. DEPT. OF DEFENSE

▶︎ATTENTION!! (STAND AND FACE THE CAMERA)
For ADMIRAL MACKEREL
▶︎VICE ADMIRAL MARKSON SULLIVAN DE CROIX III!!!
●Yes, SIR!!!

▶︎ At ease, son. Good to see you again, Mr. MVP. That was a helluva game you played.
● Don’t mention it, sir. Actually Army wasn’t our strongest opponent.
▶︎ Anyway your play helped Ole Fishbut, I mean Admiral Halibut, and me clean up.
Ya know, he was integral in getting you here and helping your promotions. The Navy works on cooperation and things are done through others. Successful officers soon find that out.
● Yes, sir!
▶︎ I trust all is going well for you here at Base M-M. I myself am required to do a lot shuttling between Washington, Langley, and here. Of interest for you is that I found a gem to be your deep passing threat for the Base football team.
He runs a 4.4 40! His name is LB Greene, LB for lightning bolt. He routinely catches 50-50 balls one handed. Have you heard of him?
● No, sir.
▶︎ Neither have many people. A well kept secret down in the Virginia Tidewater area. I guess mass media don’t venture there much. He didn’t get one college offer. We figure he had a problem with the SATs, you know, college athletics has come under fire about their lowering standards. So he signed up for the Navy. What’s more he’s coming here. Halibutt's friend in San Diego arranged his transfer from that base to Base M-M!
● Wow, that’s great news, sir.
▶︎ Another story about cooperation, son. To make it in this Navy, you gotta do it through others.
● Yes, sir.
▶︎ I do a lot in intelligence and when I was at Langley recently I read your report about your undercover work in the 40th Anniversary Watch group. I just want to make sure something. When you put their transmissions through the Enigma5000 machine, were you sure it was operating? It vibrated, shook, a sure sign it was?
● I’m not sure, sir. That was written in the instructions manual?
▶︎ Or did you skip the reading and wing it like most of the population with new software?
● Uh, un no, sir uh
▶︎ Remember the Code, son. The Navy Conduct Code.
● Sir, I surely read the manual but it’s possible I overlooked that, Sir!!
▶︎ Ok, son, I like you, boy. This is what we’re gonna do. We need not tell Base Command about this oversight, for we wouldn’t want a demotion, would we?. But we will continue your undercover work and better use of the Enigma5000.
● Yes, Sir!!
▶︎You will report directly to me about this, no one else.
● Yes Sir!!
▶︎ Ok, son, you’re dismissed. Keep your chin up. Ole Fishbutt and me made our fair share of fuckups but got to be admirals. So can you.
● Thank you, sir!!

Camera is off. ◉

[Mark de Croix]

Please excuse the print size of the last post. Suddenly it got that way for no reason.