The Absolute Worst Episodes

[Louise]

Well, we agree that each of the episodes you listed are not good. Most I rated as 2 stars and I agree that the Season 5 Episode, The Man From Marseilles is deplorable, I gave it 1 star. I also question why guest stars keep reappearing in these episodes. Kathleen Lloyd (21 episodes) is annoying in nearly all of them. Lance LeGault as Colonel Buck (10 episodes) with his surly demeanor is tiresome. And, Carol Burnett destroyed two episodes, they don't come more abrasive than her, all she does is overact. Angela Lansbury is truly terrible in Novel Connection. How they gave her an entire show, Murder She Wrote, is bewildering. And how anyone watched it I will never know. I think the scripts of some of these episodes are just poorly written and no matter who was used to fill the roles, they would stink up the estate.

So, in essence, you don't actually like Magnum PI all that much. Why are you here?

And frankly, I'm sick to death of reading your disparaging comments about the women on the show. You are downright offensive, and your posts are very arrogant. I've held back from commenting for the past few weeks, but I've had enough. For me personally, you are spoiling the pleasant atmosphere of this site. We are all entitled to post our opinions, but all you ever do is moan and complain, and you post your opinions as if they were facts.

I used to really enjoy logging on here, the rest of you guys are great, but I'm going to take a break for a while.

[Sisophous]

I'm sick to death of reading your disparaging comments about the women on the show.

Did someone force you to read this thread? You chose to read it, and I labeled the subject matter clearly. I had plenty of glowing things to say about women in this series, here are some of them that I posted on the episodes forum. Sunshine, Dana Hill aka little Willy, the Mystery Woman, Talia Balsam, receptionist at the Crouching Lion Inn, etc. I dug these up because they had been uploaded to my photobucket account but there are plenty more. You must not have read my other posts.

[Reef monkey]

Boy, that escalated quickly...I mean, that really got out of hand fast. It jumped up a notch. And Brick killed a guy.

I personally agree with Conch, et al that there are no "horrid" episodes, only weaker ones. I disagree with Sisophous about Carol Burnett, growing up with Carol Burnett and Friends in the early 80s, I have always liked her, and thought her episodes were enjoyable, esp when they were locked in the bank vault together. I also disagree about Angela Lansbury in Novel Connection, and I like her in general, though I was never into Murder, She Wrote, but hey, old people gotta watch something, as Golden Girls producers can attest. I like Lance LeGault as Buck Green, but he probably shouldn't have played basically the same character in both Magnum and A-Team. I kind of agree though about Kathleen Lloyd. In general I thought the casting directors weren't very good at finding actresses to fill romantic interest roles, at least ones I found interesting or attractive, and lots of times the women even looked too old for Thomas (Letter from a Dutchess, for example). I know it was the 80s and big hair and too much makeup were the thing back then, but even making allowances for that, I never found Marta DuBois very attractive. Though Erin Gray (J Digger Doyle) and Patrice Martinez were favorites of mine.

But all that aside, I don't necessarily see sisophous doing anything wrong here, either regarding "spreading hate" about women on the show, or evidence that he doesn't like the show just because he didn't like ~10% of the episodes. That still means he found 90% of the episodes good, it's still an A. Shoot, I am a HUGE Indiana Jones fan, and I only find 75% of the movies watchable. That's barely a C. If I could huff spray paint in a way that it only killed the brain cells that remember Crystal Skull exists, let alone remember that I have seen it, I would totally do it. So, granted Louise, I don't know the history between you and Sisophous, so I may be off base here, but at least in this thread I don't see anything more than Sisophous just offering his opinion on episodes and actresses, and I don't think he did it in an unacceptable way or anything.

[Doc Ibold]

I think that's a point I've been trying to make whenever stuff like this pops up.

We all have different feelings on episodes. Sometimes we characterize them in different ways. I, for one said Season 6 had some unwatchable episodes.... and got called out on it. Potentially not the best choice of words, but I said it and potentially could have said lesser favorites.

To put it into context, do I watch all of them? Sure. But there are some that pop up and my mind says "Yeah! Prepare for 45 minutes of awesome" and others where I kind of want to get it over with.

That being said, I think the appeal of Magnum is that there can be a certain scene that makes an otherwise middling episode worthwhile. It may be 24 minutes of twiddling your thumbs and then that one moment that makes you say "That's why I watched this episode".

I have my list of least favorite episodes myself, listed above.... Which I'm sure people will disagree with, and that is totally fine! I respect that. JJ Walters doesn't like Birdman of Budapest, and I think it's one of the best in Season 3...

As a point of context, if you view the episode polls, some can be listed "absolutely perfect" and "pretty bad" in the same episode based upon who's watching them.. It all boils down to a matter of taste.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that if people aren't constantly bashing on the show and they have an opinion, lets hear it and discuss it in a rational way. We may not agree, but at least its a place to say it. One of the best things about this forum is that we don't get too hot and bothered. I'd rather keep it a place where everyone can discuss Magnum and their enjoyment of the show, even if the semantics of their appreciation differ from other people's.

I look at Magnum as a whole as a family of episodes. Considered as a whole, its one if the greatest shows ever made. But when you look at every episode as a family member, some episodes are the people who you have great memories with and some episodes are the weird uncle that hits on your girlfriend. And some people may enjoy the weird uncle who hits on your girlfriend!

Mahalo!

[J.J. Walters]

Yeah, it's all good guys. No worries. Sisophous was just expressing his honest opinion(s). Birds of a different feather, to each his own and all that. I havn't seen him do anything "out of line" really.

As Doc was saying, I always find it fascinating the different opinions different people have about particular episodes. There, of course, is nothing wrong about rating certain episodes "1 star". One can certainly like/love the show, but not love all the episodes. I was just joking around in my earlier post (but really man, "The Woman on the Beach"? Horrible? You Visigoth!).

Carry on.

[Doc Ibold]

Yeah, it's all good guys. No worries. Sisophous was just expressing his honest opinion(s). Birds of a different feather, to each his own and all that. I havn't seen him do anything "out of line" really.

As Doc was saying, I always find it fascinating the different opinions different people have about particular episodes. There, of course, is nothing wrong about rating certain episodes "1 star". One can certainly like/love the show, but not love all the episodes. I was just joking around in my earlier post (but really man, "The Woman on the Beach"? Horrible? You Visigoth!).

Carry on.

Ha, that's right. I pulled my title from Woman On The Beach. (I like it for other reasons as well.). My avatar isn't even FROM a Magnum episode.. It's actually from MSW "Magnum On Ice" when Higgins busts out the Karate Chop Of Doom(r) and layeth the smacketh down on the abusive ex husband. And I can barely stand that episode... But I never miss it due to that scene alone.

[mikeaz123]

I don't think LEgend of the Lost Art can really be counted as "bad" since it was intentionally made in a "wink wink" manner to Selleck's almost being Indiana Jones.

[Reef monkey]

I don't think LEgend of the Lost Art can really be counted as "bad" since it was intentionally made in a "wink wink" manner to Selleck's almost being Indiana Jones.

Agreed. It was made for that purpose, and also it was a little lighthearted fun, a chance for the actors to have fun and the audience to have fun watching them before Transitions and Resolutions 1 and 2 dealt with more serious issues in order to wrap up the series.

[mctyler]

I don't agree with Sisophous about worst episodes:

-The woman of the beach (Season 2)is very nice for me,because it's very fun,includes an aspect of fantasy or supernatural that is recurent,pleasant and strong across the serie
-limited engagement(S 4)is not terrible on the contrary it has amusing moments
-the case of the red faced thespian(S 4) we know that the best actor or mask is Higgins
-Tran Quoc Jones(S 5) could be a true and touching story
-Kiss of the sabre (S 5) we understand that life is romance and Magnum is best than James Bond
-The Man fron Marseilles (S 5) Magnum is competing with a international detective.It's right to watch him
-Torah Torah Torah (S 5)we discover the military ethic of Higgins..it's important thing
-The Kona wild (S 6) the plot is not shallow but suggests about life's hurricanes
-The hotel Dick (S 6) I love it because we watch Magnum gets in game
-Forever in time (S 8 ) is funny for the vulcan but exciting and dreamy for the love story
-The legend Of the Lost art(S 8 ) we know that is a "remake" Of indiana jones..I would have liked watch Magnum in that film..he showed that he could interpreted it

I disagree with Vulgarian Visigoth about:

-find me a raimbow (S 6): there is comic moments and it is good when it benefits the children
-novel connection (S 7) ok Angela Lansbury is boring,slow and poor but just because Magnum is the top investigator..It's nice to note it evermore
-out of sync ( S 7) show us how to engage in something that you don't want
-Transitions (S 8 ) Luther is pleasant to me

[Doc Ibold]

Hi mctyler,

I wouldn't say I hated those episodes. I just don't prefer them compared to others. They just happen to be filed under the header "Absolute Worst Episodes"

Find Me A Rainbow DOES have some comic moments, (In fact, it should make for a good Kenji Files write up), but the resolution seemed contrived.

Novel Connection Im not a huge fan of because the feel wasn't a Magnum episode. When they did the crossover with Simon and Simon, Ki'i's Don't Lie felt like a Magnum episode. NC was a bunch of women sitting around and yelling at Magnum. To be honest, I prefer the MSW episode to Novel Connection.

Out of Sync was told in an interesting way, but Magnum didn't really seem to act like Magnum and the whole ending with Cynthia just seemed rushed. I think they could have done it better.

Transitions - I've grown to like Luther, but for this episode I don't think they used him all that well. It was almost if the producers were writing "Well, this is the last season, so lets have an episode with Luther. Yeah, that sounds like a good idea."

I think overall, a not so good episode of Magnum is better than the best of a lot of things out there today. Plus it's all a matter of personal preference. In my opinion, each episode of Magnum has a moment which makes the episode even if the rest of the episode may plod along (of those episodes being few and far between).

[Little Garwood]

IMO no episode of MPI qualifies as "truly horrid" but the ones I tend not to like are "off"---in a bad way; meaning the concept didn't work or the performances lack chemistry. That being said, it doesn't mean I despise said episode.

I'll also add that I am a minority of one in that I absolutely love "Kiss of the Sabre"; "The Kona Winds"; "The Hotel Dick"; and "Novel Connection."

Season One: Don't Say Goodbye- I don't buy Magnum's friendship with Agatha Kimball for a second. There's also something about Mercedes McCambridge's performance that seems odd though she's normally an excellent actress.

Season Two: The Elmo Ziller Story- I know others like this one, but the silliness and attempts at humor all fall flat for me. Subsequent attempts at kookiness would fare much better (including the reviled "Kiss of the Sabre", which I love).

Season Three: Two Birds of a Feather- I've softened on this one in recent years but it's still dead last for S3. I despise back door pilots (no pun intended) and the fact that Magnum literally phones in the information to help Sam Houston Hunter. Plus, any action show that wastes Richard Roundtree is its own worst enemy.

Season Four: Smaller Than Life- How a show at the peak of its power could produce this turkey remains a mystery to me. A "Little Person" was used to much better effect in S2's "Tropical Madness."

Season Five: The Man from Marseilles- Nothing good here, and that includes "Misty." Extra scorn is heaped on this one because the DVD omits the office scene where Lt. Tanaka speaks French.

Season Six: I Never Wanted to Go to France Anyway- An episode focusing on a guest character I care not one whit about and a poorly rendered episode at that---just murderously slow pacing--earns this one the bottom-of-the-barrel award. I also don't care for episodes of shows set in carnivals/circuses; Mannix and Hawaii Five-O also pulled that shtick and those episodes are among my least favorites of those series.

Season Seven: Limbo- Corny ending that never should have happened. The Suits were right to drag the cast back for the abbreviated eighth season. If a John Denver song was the last thing I ever heard as I lay dying, I'd do my best to return, too.

Season Eight: Infinity and Jelly Doughnuts- A vision of Mac expands like Violet from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. If a show is going to be surreal or in this case, downright wacky, don't let it be at the expense of the characters and how they think or feel. I mean, Magnum thinks this way?!?

[ConchRepublican]

Wow. I guess my "Sweet Sixteen" and Marathon choices will leave a few people upset since they include Don't Say Goodbye, Woman on the Beach and Limbo.

[Little Garwood]

Wow. I guess my "Sweet Sixteen" and Marathon choices will leave a few people upset since they include Don't Say Goodbye, Woman on the Beach and Limbo.

Not me. After all, it's your "Sweet Sixteen." Nothing to be upset about.

[Hawaii Winds]

I have rated every episode in this 8 Season series on the scale of 1-5, for my own reference. I only give a 1 star rating to an episode if it is truly horrid. In no particular order of lousiness, I put together a list of the worst of the worst episodes, all I rated as 1 star. They are all bad. I found no dud episodes from Season 1. Any thoughts? It is no surprise to me that Seasons 5 and 6 have the most duds.


The Woman on the Beach: Season 2

Legacy From a Friend: Season 3

Limited Engagement: Season 4
The Case of the Red Faced Thespian: Season 4
Rembrandt's Girl: Season 4

Tran Quoc Jones: Season 5
Kiss of the Sabre: Season 5
Let me Hear the Music: Season 5
The Man From Marseilles: Season 5
Torah, Torah, Torah: Season 5

The Kona Winds: Season 6
The Hotel Dick: Season 6
Paniolo: Season 6
Who is Don Luis Higgins, and Why is He Doing These Terrible Things to Me?: Season 6

Murder by Night: Season 7

Forever in Time: Season 8
Legend of the Lost Art: Season 8

Legend of the lost art, was just horrible, almost as if they ran out of plots!

[Sisophous]

Season One: Don't Say Goodbye- I don't buy Magnum's friendship with Agatha Kimball for a second. There's also something about Mercedes McCambridge's performance that seems odd though she's normally an excellent actress.

You're right, I watched this episode the other night and Magnum's affection for the old bag was over the top. I thought Ted Danson did an excellent job as Stewart Crane. He annoyed Magnum about as much as you can without starting a fight. You could feel the animosity between them. Ted Danson always did a good job playing the role of an evil person.

Season 8
Legend of the lost art, was just horrible, almost as if they ran out of plots!

Spot on right! It was like NOT watching Magnum P.I., it was horrid.