Rejected article I wrote for a magazine. (Off topic)

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SelleckLover
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Rejected article I wrote for a magazine. (Off topic)

#1 Post by SelleckLover »

Q & A


By now, I’m sure that practically everyone has an e-mail account. Those of you with one have undoubtedly received the all-too-familiar e-mail from a friend or relative that contains personal questions that have already been answered by the aforementioned people. The answers to the questions are supposed to reveal to you, many little known “fun facts” about this person. After the e-mail is read, you are to cut and paste the questions to a new e-mail, delete your friend’s answers and then replace them with your own. You are then instructed to forward it to 10 friends after that is done.
After receiving yet another “fun fact” e-mail from a friend, I began reading my friend’s answers and I noticed that they consisted of mostly one word. Examples of her answers would include, “No”, “Yes,” and “Maybe”. She had also included with a couple of answers, a sentence or two of explanation. I suppose I learned a tiny bit more about her than I knew before, but I really wasn’t impressed. Having never wanted to take the time to do this in the past, I thought my answers would be boring, and I also considered it a monumental waste of time. With nothing better to do, I reluctantly decided to answer all 27 questions. With the questions before me, I then decided that I would go for unadulterated, take-no-prisoners, brutal honesty.
Little did I know that my answers would reveal something that I never, ever knew about myself. How could this be? I thought I knew myself pretty well. Objectively, I had to start asking myself some serious questions. What was going on here? Was I in a parallel universe having stepped through a door to the fourth dimension? Was this a spiritual awakening? A raising of my consciousness? A revelation the likes of which I had never experienced before? Or was this an emergence of an ugly, morally reprehensible obsession? I don’t really know. I can’t put my finger on it exactly, so here are the questions and my answers so you can judge for yourself.

1. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yes.
2. WHAT IS YOUR MIDDLE NAME? Ruth.
3. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY? When Magnum PI went off the air.
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Selleck Krispies.
5. FAVORITE FLAVOR OF ICE CREAM? Chocolate Selleck Cookie Dough.
6. FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Selleck & Pimento loaf.
7. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? Yes, but I do have a slight weakness for Tom Selleck.
8. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Yes, and I think maybe Tom Selleck does too. In response to the thousands…er…couple of fan letters I’ve written him, he even sent me something once. It was called an “Order of Protection”. Wow, what’s up with that?
9. WHAT DID YOU EAT AT YOUR LAST MEAL? A Tom Sandwich with a side of Selleck.
10. RED OR PINK? Red, like the Ferrari Tom Selleck drove in Magnum PI.
11. HUGS OR KISSES? Definitely hugs…or kisses if Tom Selleck is involved somehow.
12. ROLLING STONES OR THE BEATLES? Beatles, for sure! (Having a hard time finding a Tom Selleck answer for this one, darn it!)
13. YOUR FAVORITE FOOD? See Answer #9.
14. ARE YOU READING A BOOK RIGHT NOW? Yes, “Tom Selleck: An Unauthorized Biography”, by Jason Bonderoff
15. FURTHEST YOU’VE BEEN FROM HOME? Hawaii, where the TV series Magnum PI was filmed.
16. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? Yes, working on my numerous Tom Selleck scrapbooks.
17. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU CALLED ON THE PHONE? Tom Selleck…he didn’t answer.
18. FAVORITE DESSERT? Tom Selleck
19. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSEPAD? Tom Selleck (Who knew?)
20. WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND TO THIS E-MAIL? Tom Selleck.
21. FAVORITE SEASON? The new fall TV season where Tom Selleck will be on the show “Vegas” on Friday nights at 9PM on NBC.
22. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF? My inability to find the resources that would allow me to meet Tom Selleck.
23. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? The character of Thomas Magnum on Thursday nights at 8 PM on CBS.
24. YOUR FAVORITE SMELL? The smell of Tom Selleck walking out of the ocean, all wet and glistening in the sun.
25. WHEN AND WHERE WERE YOU BORN? August 30 in Beverly Hospital, just a few miles from Sherman Oaks, California where Tom Selleck grew up.
26. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NITE? My DVDs of the TV show “Boston Legal”, 2nd Season. But only the episodes with Tom Selleck in them.
27. HAVE YOU EVER SHOUTED AT SOMEONE IN ANGER? Only when someone disrespects Tom Selleck in my presence.

After reading my answers to these seemingly innocuous questions, I think my family might want to get the ball rolling and arrange for an intervention. They need to get me to rehab and on a 12-step program as soon as possible. I need to get my life back on track and quit thinking about (dare I say it?) Tom Selleck.

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#2 Post by golfmobile »

SL,

YOU da bomb!! ROTFLMAO!!!

No, wait, you da volcano (Kilauea)!

golf
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SelleckLover
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#3 Post by SelleckLover »

Thanks golf! I knew only a true Magnum Junkie could truly appreciate it for what it's worth! :D

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J.J. Walters
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#4 Post by J.J. Walters »

Hey, look at it this way, at least you know what your passion is. Many people go through their whole lives without having a real passion for anything. It's ok to be a diehard fan of something, or somebody, as long as you keep it in perspective, you have some balance in your life, and it doesn't get out of control.

Tom Selleck sent you an “Order of Protection”?

What the heck is Selleck & Pimento loaf? Selleck Krispies?
Higgins: It's not a scratch! It's a bloody gouge!

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SelleckLover
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#5 Post by SelleckLover »

Well, my dear James, I'm assuming the questions you're asking are in the true spirit of the article, tongue planted firmly in cheek. In case your questions were serious, none of the answers were true, except the ones about my tonsils and my middle name. This article was meant to poke fun at myself and was written as a kind of spoof on my, well, for the lack of a better word, "obsession" with Mr. Selleck and Magnum PI. My husband often teases me about finding a "Selleck Interventionist", arranging an intervention and getting me on a 12-step program, and that's how I got the idea. Just trying to entertain and spread around what I think is a little humor. If someone "gets" my humor, then that's good, if they don't, then that's okay too!
:D

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#6 Post by IslandHopper »

SL,

The Rolling Stones' "(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction" was played in season 3's "Did You See The Sunrise." Does this somehow tip the scales in favor of the Stones regarding Question 12?
The answer is obvious, old man. Logic is irrelevant. It's simply Tropical Madness. (J.Q. Higgins)

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#7 Post by SelleckLover »

Good point IH, hadn't thought about that, as I don't really pay much attention to the music being played when watching Magnum reruns. But thanks for the input! :D

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#8 Post by J.J. Walters »

LOL! I thought you were serious SL! Don't I feel dumb! The odd part is I didn't necessarily think there was anything wrong with your answers -- because of the balance/perspective thing.

Heh. :)
Higgins: It's not a scratch! It's a bloody gouge!

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SelleckLover
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#9 Post by SelleckLover »

James,

GOTCHA! LOL :wink:

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#10 Post by Miss Q »

SL,

Thanks for the laugh, sadly I understood all of you answers....

It would appear you live in the same general area of TS, do you by chance happen to see him around town?

Miss Q
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#11 Post by SelleckLover »

Well, Miss Q, I actually did grow up about a 20 minute drive from Sherman Oaks, where Mr. Selleck grew up, but if I saw him around town, it was before he was famous. I no longer live there and haven't since 1970. Right now I live about a 3-4 hour drive (depending on the traffic) from Ventura County where Mr. Selleck currently lives. A lot of that drive time means having to drive in bumper to bumper traffic through Los Angeles for an hour, so it's really only about two hours or so if you factor that out.

I think that the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. I embrace my Tom Selleck obsession and own it, and will never be ashamed to admit it in public again, as you should too! LOL So the word "sadly" shouldn't be used or be mentioned again. (Kind of like the name Joey Petersen on Magnum!) :D Whoops! There's my sense of humor again, LOL.

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#12 Post by Doc Ibold »

SelleckLover,

You know better!

We must never speak of him again!!!!!

He's like fricking Voldemort, or Su Ling, or Higgins' sister in Sussx with 4 beastly children!

:evil:

LOL

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#13 Post by SelleckLover »

Oops! Sorry Doc.....I didn't mean to mention you-know-who! Oh, well, nevermind! :D

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#14 Post by Doc Ibold »

:lol:

Totally pulling your leg.

Besides, I'm the sardonic voice of this forum (which is not to say that I mock the forum, but just to point out the absurdities (while still fervently following the show) of the Magnumverse!

Everyone has their talent.

James, the fearless leader
IslandHopper, the Flub Catcher
You, the Selleck expert
Golf, the innovator of Magnum GI
etc, etc....

We all have our parts to play, and I guess this is mine

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#15 Post by SelleckLover »

Well said, Doc...and I knew that there was some definite leg-pulling going on there! LOL Yes, you are quite right, we all have, what you so generously call, our individual "talents", mine being woefully inadequate as compared to golf's with her Magnum GI! She goes "above and beyond the call of duty" if you ask me. If they gave out Emmys or Oscars for what she does, she should win more than one! Hey! Perhaps we could invent one....call it The Maggy, and have it look like trophy topped with a gold plated rubber chicken or Ferrari??? No? OK, nvm!:D

Here on Planet SelleckLover, I always enjoy reading your sardonic comments, so keep 'em coming!

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